Buffy and Loveycakes

Short Story Day 10 of 365

“Buffy, I do think it’s time for you to take my Lexus in for an oil change,” she said. “I hear it’s running a little, shall we say, rougher than usual.”

“Dear, I think if it’s running rough, it’s probably not an oil change it needs. It needs a tune up.”

“Sure, whatever, oil change, tune up, carburetor, radiator, brakes. Whatevs, All the same to me. Why don’t you ask Mortimer to run it in? He’s really good at those sorts of things.”

“Loveycakes,” he said. “Mortimer is standing not but 30 feet from you and can hear every word you say.”

“I haven’t said anything untoward, have I, Mortimer?”

“No, ma’am, you have not,” Mortimer said.

“See, you just have a paranoid streak in you, Dahling,” she said.

“Paranoid?” he asked. “No offense, but I don’t think Mortimer is being straight with you. We are, after all, his employers. Do you really think he’d call you out for being rude to him?”

“I wasn’t being rude, Buffy. I think we’ve already established that.”

“But to your point,” he said, “Perhaps I should take the Lexus – that is, your Lexus – in for service. That way I know 100% what they’re doing with it. I couldn’t possibly leave Baby out of my sight for any old mechanic to tinker with.”

He continued, “Or maybe I should take the Beamer in first. Both of them need servicing. The Beamer’s starting to show signs of wear, if you will. After all, we just passed the 3000-mile mark. Maybe even time to trade in for next year’s model. I think we should go green next year, what do you think, Loveycakes?”

“Anything we can do to help save the planet, I suppose. Then again, we give enough to green causes to offset the need to get an eco-friendly car. Of course, any more conniption fits from that bratty daughter of yours and I may not be so generous with my planet-saving ideas and money.”

“That would be our daughter, Loveycakes. I think she gets her attitude from your side.”

“And stunning looks of course, Buffy. What you say is true, but she gets her stubbornness from your side.”

“No arguments there” he said. “Ah, the Lexus or Beamer. Maybe she needs to get her oil changed too. Which first? I’m so confused now. Mortimer, would you be so kind as to take the Madam’s Lexus in to the dealer to get the oil changed? Tune up too if it needs it.”

“I would be most happy to do that, sir,” Mortimer said. “Shall I do that now or after lunch?”

“So many decisions, Mortimer, so many decisions,” he said. “Let’s wait until after lunch. What’s for lunch anyway? I’m starving.”

“Yes sir. Soup and sandwiches the way you like it, sir.”

“Good. I’m starved and it’s not even 10 o’clock yet.”