Iodine

Short Story Day 130 of 365

Gunther cracked open a tiny packet of salt and poured it over his scrambled eggs. ‘Made with Iodine’ was written in tiny red letters.

“Honey, you ever asked yourself why they always make salt with iodine?”

“No, not really.” Maria said. “Pass me the butter, please.”

“Well, we probably should,” he said, squinting at the fine print. “I mean, they don’t put iodine in anything else, not in bread, not in ketchup, not even in pepper. But salt? Every single time. Of course, not that sea salt stuff. That’s the no-iodine variety. Lots of people like the sea salt too.”

“I like sea salt and some of it is iodized. Syrup please.”

“There you go. The whole world’s gone mad.”

“I wouldn’t say the whole world…” said Maria.

“I’m not gonna take that bait, dearest one. Not gonna take it. Mock me all you want but one of these days all the chemicals they’re putting in our food is gonna kill us.”

“I feel sorry for you, Gunth. I really do. Let me guess. Chemtrails are a plot.”

“Got a better explanation?” Gunther asked.

“Fluoride in toothpaste?”

“Pure poison.” he said.

“Moon landing never happened?”

“A set in Hollywood.”

“JFK?” she asked.

“CIA.”

“Flat earth?”

“Eh, I’ll give you that one,” said Gunther. “That’s thanks to all the satellite photos taken of mother earth.”

“Santa Claus and Easter bunny?”

“Now you’re mocking,” Gunther said. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask about Elvis.”

Maria looked over the top of her glasses. “Don’t go dissing The King now.”