No Respect

We don't all have to be number one.

Stubby sulked throughout the day and there was no one around to cheer him up, except for Mark, and he had similar confidence problems.

“No respect, I tell ya. No respect at all,” said Tubby. “Always second fiddle. Always taking a backseat to…to…him,”

“What are you talking about, Stubby? Everyone in the world respects you. Teachers love you. Examiners love you. They don’t ask for him in the stores. Never once have I heard them mention him. But you, Stubby, you’ve got some class about you. I’m not even quite sure how you rose to the top, especially with your name, but the world loves you.”

“You think so, Mark? You really think so?”

Mark said, “Well, here let me show you. See these exam instructions? Read ‘em to me.”

Stubby turned the page around and began reading. “Thank you for taking the time out of your…”

“No, no, Stubby. Look at …. er, the third bullet point.”

“Okay. Exam takers must use a No. 2 pencil. Pens, markers, or mechanical pencils are not permitted.”

“See, Stubby? Mentioned you by name, No. 2. That’s you, Man! You don’t see No. 1 on there, do you? No way. Just you, buddy. You are THE standard!”

“Yeah, I guess that’s good. But, I’m so small now since all those kids have been sharpening me.”

“That’s a different problem, Stubby, my boy. A very different problem.”

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