On the Edge of Your Portable Flotation Device

We haven't arrived home until the ads are done.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Head Flight Attendant Randy speaking. As we are only 35 minutes from landing, I’d like to inform you of an absolutely exciting opportunity that Cozy Airlines is offering to its most prestigious customers - you…”

Roland watched as hands went up all over the cabin to press the Call button only 20 seconds after the Randy began his spiel about the airline’s credit card.

“Cozy Airlines is offering 60,000 mileage points, which is equivalent to two round trip tickets to anywhere in the continental United States, that is, if you are able to fill out and complete the application that our esteemed flight attendants will begin passing out…”

The captive audience had allowed Head Flight Attendant Randy to read without interruption all the talking points that a professional writer wrote for him, though Roland suspected it wasn’t written with this flight attendant in mind.

The other flight attendants throughout the cabin eased down the aisle and passed out credit card applications to those who wanted one. For those who had pushed the Call button, the attendants inquired about their need, turned the Call button off and then walked briskly down the aisle hawking their applications, and disappeared into the galley.

“In order to sweeten the pot, as they say, Cozy Airlines is waiving its first year $99 fee for applicants who want to add mileage points with every purchase. These points can be used for upgrades, future flights, and cash incentives…”

One by one each flight attendant reappeared with pillows and blankets in hand. Those items weren’t unusual requests on flights, but 35 minutes before landing was a bit odd.

“Cozy Airlines is extremely pleased to offer the Great Rewards credit card. With this fantastic card, you or your loved one can purchase items or get cash back for an extraordinarily low interest rate of 17.87 percent…”

Roland counted 33 sets of pillows and blankets that were handed out in the time Randy had been speaking. After Roland stretched his arms high and his legs as much as his seat would allow, he put his head on the headrest, and welcomed the late flight nap.

Head Flight Attendant Randy may not have been a great credit card salesman, but he certainly been a good pillow salesman.