Thanks But No

A passion for words

Deek handed Jim Daily his three plastic bags full of groceries.

Daily took the bags and said, “Thank you very much.”

“No problem,” said Deek.

Jim stared at the boy for a few seconds before he manufactured a smile and walked through the exit with his wife.

Jim said to his wife, “You know this by now. ‘No problem’ is not the correct response to ‘Thank You.’ Neither is ‘you bet’ or ‘you betcha’ or ‘no worries’ or the weirdest of all ‘of course.’ Never has been. Never will be. Who trains these people? Don’t they know words mean things?”

“You’ll have to get off that high horse one of these days, Jim. You should really let it go. We can pay to get you help if you want. Besides, there are much more important things in life to concern yourself with.”

“Such as?” replied Jim.

Before Jim and Louise got to the restaurant for lunch, Louise listed at least 20 more important things in life to worry about, another dozen before they got through the front door, and a few once before they got to the counter. Of course, she had rattled off similar lists several times each year for the past decade each time Jim got triggered by that phrase, ‘no problem.’

After Jim finished ordering food for the two of them at the cash register, he took his receipt and said, “Thank you, young man.”

“You’re welcome,” Team Leader Lance said. He was slightly older than the high schoolers in the kitchen, but not by much.

Jim froze.

“You know, Lance,” Jim said, clearing his throat. “I’ve got to say, you’re one of the first people I’ve met this month who responds to a Thank You with the only reply that should be allowed in this wonderful English language. And for that, I wanna shake your hand and say, ‘Thank You.’ Someone has taught you well.”

Lance paused at the man’s words, reached across the counter, shook Jim’s hand, and said, “No worries.”