The Carjacker

Wrong timing, wrong man

The driver of the Corvette stopped at the light and gunned the engine. Todd knew what neighborhood he was in, and the thought of getting out of it as quickly as possible crossed his mind a few dozen times in the minute he was there. He knew the risks.

While Todd waited, someone tapped on the driver’s window, and Todd cracked the window two inches. With a gun held at the window, a man pushed it through the crack in the window and said, “Out of the car. Now!”

“All right, if you say so,” Todd said, jamming the gear in Park and opening the door.

At 6’4” and 260, Todd got out of the car with a weapon drawn but not pointed. The would-be carjacker couldn’t pull his gun out of the window crack fast enough, so he left it hanging in the door and took three steps back.

Todd kept the weapon at his side.

“Get your cell phone out and get on your knees,” Todd said.

Confused by the command, the carjacker did as he was told.

“Dial 9-1-1,” said Todd, never once pointing the weapon.

The carjacker punched in the numbers.

“9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?” the operator asked.

“Uh, need to report a carjacking, um, in progress…at Dunrow and Temple.”

“Are you the victim being carjacked,” she asked.

“No, uh no. I’m the jacker.”

The operator asked, “Are you being held by the victim?”

“Yeah, something like that. He’s got a gun and he aims to use it. I can tell.”

“Let me speak with the, er, victim, please.”

The carjacker handed over the cellphone.

“Yes?”

“Sir, are you in any danger?”

“Not anymore, but I’d really like to get this trash off the street so he doesn’t violate anymore.”

Even before she said, ‘A squad is on the way,’ Todd heard the distant siren. Like a pitcher, he wound up and threw the phone down hard next to the carjacker. The carjacker winced and the phone shattered.

“Hey, you just broke my phone.”

“Obviously,” Todd said. “Couldn’t be helped. You’re lucky that’s all I broke. You shouldn’t be so clumsy.”

“You’ll just have to buy me a new one.”

“Funny guy. Attempted robbery with a firearm? Unregistered, I’d guess.  You’ll be going away for a long time. And when I get the word out that you called for the police yourself by trying to jack a Federal agent, you’ll be laughed out of town. Oh yeah, Buddy. ATF. You picked the wrong car to jack. Federal crime territory now. I’m gonna love filling out this police report.”

Todd cupped his left ear.

“Oh, and that sound I hear off in the distance? Your next ride to prison. And my guess is it won’t be a Club Fed like they reserve for politicians and white collar criminals. Nope. We’re talking hard time at Leavenworth or Joliet. Hope it was worth it.”

“So, I take it you’re not in a mercy mood,” the carjacker said.

“Hey, maybe you’re smarter than you look. No. No mercy today, but thanks for asking.”

*******