The Chainsaw Man

He had no choice.

He knew what it looked like walking down a Texas street with a small chainsaw in his hand. In fact, an entire movie was written about that very topic, but Brad Snavely was on a mission. And that mission had a chainsaw in its future.

 Snavely wasn’t always this aggressive but when something got stuck in his craw, he wanted to rid himself of it as soon as humanly possible.

He passed vehicles waiting for a traffic light and ignored their looks. Oh yes, their eyes were wide and he figured a few had their cell phones out calling the authorities.

That didn’t matter just now.

Brad was as determined as ever to rid himself of this, this menace to all walkers and runners, a menace that accosted and assaulted them without retribution. Yes, the authorities would probably surround him as he was committing the act, but he would continue because he carried a dangerous weapon, an 8-amp, 14-inch gas-powered chainsaw filled and ready for action. If he was going to commit this sin, he might as well do it in a cloud of fuel and fumes. It wouldn’t be pretty but it would do the job, and he would rid society of this burdensome mess.

His heart started to pound heavy in his chest as he approached his target and pulled down his goggles and yanked the rip cord.

Oh, the beauty of the saw exploding into action.

Two patrol cars pulled up on the other side and the officers got out of the vehicles with their weapons drawn.

Too late, much too late.

Brad Snavely had already trimmed half of those overgrown and protruding branches when he heard one of the men yell, “Put down the chainsaw.”

Snavely pretended not to hear and continued sawing those one-inch branches that impeded the sidewalk for about seven feet. Runners and walkers were forced into the street for those few feet and it left them vulnerable during heavy traffic.

Brad turned off the saw and put his safety glasses on top of his head, looked over at the officers and laid the chainsaw on the ground. His offense was already on the ground and waiting to be cleaned up.

With his hands in the air and a smile on his face, Snavely said, “You’d better call in Recycling backup!”