The Group Photo
“All right, all right. Let’s get this done, you guys,” Amy said. “We don’t have all day. Who’s got a camera phone? I left mine in the car.”
Blair said, “I’ve got mine. Oh shoot, it’s really low battery. Anyone else?”
“Here you go,” Kathlynn said. “But I’ve been getting poor reception out here, so I don’t know if it’ll send to anyone anytime soon. It’s an older model too…”
“Here, use mine,” said Kendall. “Er, better let me take that shot. It’s kinda quirky.”
“Oh, a bit of mansplaining now,” Roger said.
“Be quiet, Roger,” Kendall said. “It’s just got a quirk and I’m used to it. It’d take too long to show Amy…and besides, let’s get Amy in the shot. After all, it’s her birthday party.”
Amy said, “Birthday party? What are you talking about, Kendall? We’re on our staff retreat.”
“So we are, so we are. Birthday party, retreat, whatever. If you say so. Let me get this set up,” said Kendall, his voice trailing off as he monkeyed with his camera phone, unaware of the puzzled looks the rest of the staff was giving him.
“Here, Amy,” Kendall said. “Take my place. I got this.”
Amy and Kendall switched places for the group photo. He held out the camera and took two steps back.
“All right. Those on my right, your left need to scrunch in quite a bit. I’m against the wall here and not getting you in the shot.”
“Here we go, one two three. Cheese!” Kendall looked at his masterpiece.
“Someone else have a camera? It says I’m out of memory. Won’t save it. Never saw that error before. Basil, you’re the IT guy. Ever seen that before?”
“I thought they stopped making Polaroids long ago,” Basil said, but no one really laughed at his attempt at humor. “You got an Android? Samsung? Never seen that before. I just manage the IT folk; I don’t do the IT work.”
“Oh funny. No, it’s not a Polaroid. Just have you know that my wife still uses a pager for her job. Yeah, It’s Samsung. Not the pager, but the phone. Android. 220, 221 whatever it takes.”
“Good one, I actually understand that reference,” Basil said.
“Will you guys cut the chatter!” CEO Mason Archer said. “We wanna get this photo done so we can get on the road. Some of us have a longer drive than others. Here, why don’t you use my phone. Kendall, since you’re already out in front, go ahead and take the shot with my camera.”
Archer pressed a few buttons on his phone and handed it to Kendall.
“There we go, much better. Great looking preview on this thing. Hope it doesn’t transmit any company secrets.”
“Oh, stop buttering up the boss and take it already,” Terrance said.
“Hold your horses, Terrance,” said Kendall. “Perfection takes time.”
“Sure, but we don’t have all day. And when you’re done, you can use my camera to take a few more shots.”
“No, Terrance,” Kendall said. “This is it. It’ll have to do.”
Just as Kendall was ready to snap the picture, cell phones among the team started going off: Silver Alert in the area for an 82-year-old man. Since the alerts came to the staff staggered, another three minutes was wasted as the staff got their phone out, acknowledged and then clicked off the alert.
CEO Mason said, “Ok, we’re done here folks. Dress pretty for Tuesday morning and we’ll get a group photo in the Eisenhower Room. Sorry about that. I’ve gotta get on the road.”
After the CEO walked away and was out of earshot, Kendall asked, “What was that all about?”
“I don’t know. Maybe wants to get back to his puppies,” Terrance said.
“Guys, it’s simpler than that,” Amy said. “If you haven’t clicked off it yet, check out the Silver Alert we all just got, Raymond M. Archer. It’s Mason’s dad. I remember him talking about his folks being in a memory care facility. Kinda makes the group photo a little more insignificant, doesn’t it? It can wait. Tuesday the boss said, so Tuesday it is.”
Maybe this was commentary on how technology has complicated our lives? Does the Mr. Mom reference fit into that somehow? At least they didn't have to wait to send in the roll of film to get the pictures developed.
This one has me a bit perplexed. Btw I circulate all your stories.