The Landline

Endless uses of a landline phone

A knock came at Burton’s door at 2:30 on a Thursday. Since retiring and becoming a widower all in the span of two months a year ago, Burton welcomed any company who came to his door.

The man with the clipboard stood several feet back with his body angled slightly away from the door, a technique taught in door to door sales these days.

“Sorry to bother you, Mr. Tambura, my name is Rich, and I just have two or three questions for you. I promise I won’t try to sell you a thing.”

“Come on in, Rich. If you’re not selling anything then I won’t buy anything. Deal?”

“You got it. Nice place you have here, sir,” Rich said looking around.

“Please come in and have a seat, Rich. Can I get you some coffee? Just made it. Plus, I’ve got some cake from the store. It’d be a shame if I can’t share them with someone who doesn’t want to sell me anything.”

“Ha ha, You know, Mr. Tambura, I think I will have some coffee. Thank you. Thank you kindly.”

“No trouble at all.”

Burton continued talking as he poured and cut the cake.

As he placed the plates and cups on a nearby table, Burton asked, “Now, what kind of questions can I answer?”

“Simple questions really sir. I’m from the local telephone company and we’re trying to take a survey of our customers.”

“Go on. Dig in.”

“Sir, just curious, do you have a landline still?”

“Of course.”

“Interesting. Most of the people I talk to don’t have one anymore. Do you have a cell phone?”

“Yep. Kids made me get one.”

“As I said at the door, only a few questions. Last question, why do you have your landline if you now have a cell phone.”

“That’s about the simplest answer in the world, Rich. I may bellyache about my kids getting me a cell phone but truth be told, I love it. Pretty much about once a day, though, I lose it somewhere in the house. Since I live alone now, I don’t have someone else in the house to ring it to locate it, so I just call it from my landline. Works every time.”

“Sir, you’ve made my day.”

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