The Leaning Pole
Carson punched in 9-1-1 into his smart phone.
“9-1-1, Rosalind speaking, what is the nature of your emergency?”
“Yeah, I’d like to report a leaning telephone pole. Looks like it’s about ready to come crashing down on some electrical wires.”
“Is anyone in immediate danger at the moment, sir?”
“No.”
“Then let me connect you with The City. They will be able to assist you. This line is for immediate emergencies only.”
Before he could thank Rosalind, the phone rang another office.
“City Human Resources, Tamara speaking. how may I help you?”
“Human Resources? I don’t understand. I’m calling about a leaning telephone pole. It looks like it’s about ready to come toppling down.”
“I’m not sure why they redirected you to us. Let me transfer you to Parks and Recreation. One moment please.”
“Parks and Rec…”
The phone began ringing before Carson could say anything else.
“Parks and Rec Maintenance. Rex speaking.”
“Rex, I think I’m getting closer to the right person. My name is Carson and I’d like to report a leaning telephone pole.”
Rex covered the phone mouth piece so his voice was muffled, “No, no, tell Janine the City doesn’t allow that type of exotic creature within City limits. Sorry about that, sir. These people with their exotic pets and such. Reptile this time, - boa constrictor. Now, you have my undivided attention. How may I help you?”
“Exotic pets? Boa constrictor? In the city?”
“Oh yeah. Get ‘em all the time. After the owner gets tired of taking care of them, they release them into the wild or just flush them down the toilet. So, how can I help you, Mr. uh, Carson?”
“I’m calling to report a leaning telephone pole or maybe it’s an electric pole. Seems like it’s about ready to be uprooted and knock out some power lines.”
“Right department, but City Infrastructure is who you need to be talking with. Camille is the person who handles complaints like this. She’s also the one who schedules our trucks.”
“Oh, but I wasn’t complaining. Merely stating a fact that if someone doesn’t try to straighten the pole, it’ll come crashing down and there will be power outages.”
“Understand. Camille is still the person to speak with and she’s on maternity leave for the next three weeks. Let me transfer you to her voice mail and you can give out all the information about the complaint and she’ll be on it when she returns.”
Once again, before Carson could respond he was placed back into the queue. The phone rang and the recording simply said, “The mailbox for Camille Gunther has not been set up yet. Good bye.”
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