The Minefield

Short Story Day 82 of 365

Photo by Stand4Canada on Pixabay

“Honey,” Lacey said. “Do you think this dress makes me look fat?”

“Say, Lace, I hear the new Bond movie comes out next week. Let’s be the first to see it.”

“I think you’re avoiding my question, Bruce. Do you think this red dress makes me look fat?”

“You’re absolutely right I’m avoiding the question. Maybe you haven’t realized it but there’s no right answer to that question. People in Marriage and Family college courses consider it to be the question that divides good marriages.”

“What are you talking about? I merely asked if this dress makes me look fat. I know the Pointers and the Samuelsons, oh, and Sarah Rettner will be at the party tonight. I just want to know…”

“I know what you want to know, Darling,” Bruce said. “Let me tell you how this question will go down. If I say ‘yes, it makes you look fat,’ you’ll say, ‘are you calling me fat?’ If I say ‘no, it doesn’t make you look fat,’ you’ll ask me if I’m lying because you don’t want to hurt my feelings. If I tell you the blue dress looks better than the red one, you’ll inform me that the red dress fits you better. A guy can’t win.”

“Who said anything about winning or losing? I just want the truth, you know, like in that movie.”

“And do you want me to say–like the movie–‘you can’t handle the truth?’ No, you just want me to flatter you and tell you that you look gorgeous –which you do – in whatever you wear. Am I right?”

“Well, I don’t want to embarrass myself at the party is all.”

“Fair enough. Choose dark over light. Myself, I prefer the navy blue dress over the red one or maybe even that forest green one you wore last year to the Christmas party.”

“Well, unfortunately, I’m getting fatter because I can’t fit into that green dress anymore. I agree about the navy blue one. Thanks for your honesty, Hon. Just one more thing. Do you think these glasses makes me look smarter?”