The On Time Plumber

Short Story Day 81 of 365

Touted in all his advertisements as the On Time Plumber, Russ Hogan prided himself on getting to his customers on time. Period. That was his shtick. After training and sufficient apprenticeships, Hogan opened his own shop.

When he arrived at Mrs. Probst’s home five minutes early, she invited him in and offered him a coffee or water. Mrs. Probst was in her 80s and wore a light blue wig. She walked with a cane but was still alert and attentive.

“You’re pretty young to be doing this, Mr. Hogan,” Mrs. Probst said. It wasn’t the first time a customer had commented on Hogan’s youthful looks.

“Oh, I’m old enough to fix your sink, Mrs. Probst.”

“I hope so because the last plumb…oh never mind. You probably don’t want to know.”

“Just show me the problem, Mrs. Probst, and we’ll get it fixed in a jiffy.”

“If you say so. Come on in. Don’t mind the mess. Maid hasn’t come in yet.”

“No worries, Mrs. Probst. It’s lived in as it should be. You should see my place.”

 “So, my kitchen sink drain is clogged. The water’s just not going down.”

“Any idea what might be down there?”

“Lots of stuff. Grease, food, the usual. No toys that I’m aware of.”

“No, I wouldn’t expect so. Have you used anything to try to unclog it, anything such as store-bought chemicals?”

“All of ‘em. You name it and I’ve used it. Spent a pretty penny too.”

“That’s helpful to know, Mrs. Probst. Very helpful. In the future, though, the chemicals most of the time don’t do the job as a skilled professional might. Plus. when the pro comes in to re-do the job, there’s a danger of the chemicals getting all over the plumber’s skin. So, be very careful about using chemicals.”

“Oh, okay,” Mrs. Probst said. “Didn’t know that. The other guys never told me that.”

The water in the sink was still clogged from the last time she ran the water, probably just before Hogan arrived. He cleared out everything from under the sink. She had no garbage disposal so it was a standard clog that a simple rodding would fix. In the plumbing business, nothing was as simple as it seemed, but this one was.

Hogan took the manual rodder–a long flexible metal probe–from his bag, inserted it into the clog and within two minutes the sink drained. He let the water run for five minutes while he cleaned up. No discernible clogs.

“There you are, Mrs. Probst. All unclogged and ready for use.”

“Wow, that was quick. Are you sure you were old enough to fix my problem? Isn’t there like a minimum age or something? Maybe you should call yourself the Young Plumber.”

Hogan handed her the invoice and she looked at it.

“On second thought, maybe they should call you the Outrageously Priced Plumber.”