The Report

Short Story Day 47 of 365

Ok, got my research all lined up, tables ready to go, websites I need to copy some data from. Ready to write that 10-pager. Blah. What am I missing? I know I’m missing some…. Oh, let me grab a cup of coffee.

Oh, shoot, out of half and half. All right, let me run to the store and get that. Nothing else, just the cream.

What do you know? Look at that, running low on gas. Let me fill it up. Gas price is going up with the oil embargo. Won’t take but a sec.

Look. $422 million on SuperJackPot tonight. Hey! Gotta get just one ticket. Just one. It’s only two bucks. Can’t win if you don’t play. Let me throw in a packet of plastic cupcakes while I’m here. No wonder they put them near the cashier’s counter. Yes, I hope that’ll be all.

Ok, now let’s get to the store to get that cream. Are you kidding me? Check Engine light is on. Aghhh. I’ll worry about it after I get home. No, better get the OBD-II thingy out and test it. Probably faulty gas cap. It was that the last time.

P-171 Lean fuel on Bank 1. Agh, what could that be? Ok, let me get into the store and get that cream. P-171, vacuum hose leak probably or maybe Mass Air Flow sensor. I’ll just clean that. That might take care of it. That’s right, cream. Just in and out. Nothing else. Ah, need bananas and eggs while I’m here. Might as well. Save me a trip. Bread too. Let’s see, do I still have some pop left?

Now, what was I in here to get? Oh yeah. Cream, bananas, bread, eggs, and some pop if there’s any on sale. Oh no, I don’t have my SuperShopper discount card. I hate paying full price for this stuff. Only the eggs are discounted. No problem. What am I going to do about that mass air flow sensor? After I put the groceries away, I’ll just pop the hood and take out that sensor. I bet there’s a video or two about how to do it. Better watch a video before I get into too much trouble without knowing what I’m doing.

Ah, good video. It’s what I thought. Better to be safe. I don’t have any mass air flow sensor cleaner. I thought I just ran across a video saying you can use isopropyl alcohol. Better not. All right, let me just pop on over to the parts store and grab a small can to do it right. Can’t afford to be without a car because of some silly mistake. I hate that Check Engine light. So annoying and uninformative. Need to get it off.

Ok, got the cleaner and while I have the mass air flow sensor out, should change the air filter. Can’t hurt. Finally, popping the hood now. I’m gonna need a Phillips head. Not in my trunk or glove box. What about the toolbox in the garage? There we go.

Ahh, look at that. Yes indeed, filthy as all get out. And would you look at that filter. Where’d all those tiny leaves and acorns come from. I need to get the shop vac over here to get the debris from the air filter housing. Glad I saw this now. Ok, let this cleaner dry out a bit and reassemble it. Careful, don’t lose those tiny screws. Can’t imagine ever finding those screws in the belly of the engine.

Now, need to get back to my report.

Report? Oh no.

Let’s make that coffee first. Wait, did I put the cream away?