The Screening Question

But an honest question

Five full years had passed since Clayton’s last colonoscopy. He had done all the prep work: the fasting, taking 12 pills twice within 12 hours, and emptying his system. All that should last him another five years. Everything was in order for him to go in and let the staff put him to sleep and work their magic.

“ID and insurance card, Mr. Heffernan?”

He pushed both cards under the half-inch plexiglass still in place to prevent COVID spread.

“I’ve got a question and I’m not sure there’s a logical answer, but why the need for identification? I mean, is there anyone in their right mind who would go what I just went through and falsify his information? Or do it for someone else? I could see it for buying drugs and such, but a colonoscopy? Who does that?”

The receptionist squinted. “Hmm. You make a good point, Clayton. Probably has to do with HIPAA regulations. Just following the rules is all. When in doubt, I blame it on the government, and 95% of the time, I’m not wrong.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Having said that, the receptionist said, “Is that really you, Mr. Heffernan?” She held up his ID to compare it to his face.

“Yes, well, when I had more hair. Sure.”

“Might want to get this updated lest someone not so kind might require you to go through the fasting and pills routine again.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

*******