The Snort

Short Story Day 39 of 365

Ward couldn’t sleep but really didn’t want to get up. He knew that if he lay in bed a little while longer, he’d doze off and be out for five or six hours.

His wife was sleeping soundly next to him. She was snoring but it was merely heavier breathing than when she was awake. It actually had a soothing effect on Ward. Their cheap white noise machine was turned on to mask complete silence.

He was flat on his back thinking about the past day and wondering if he’d get a call from the seven companies he blasted his resume to.

“Snort!”

It was a single snort from his wife, like that of a pig, and then she turned away.

Ward smiled and turned her way. She didn’t do it often, but when she did, it was hilarious. It happened about once a night but it was nothing he could go bragging about to his friends for fear of death or permanent damage if she found out. He thought often of recording it because she’d denied it every time he brought it to her attention.

He waited again, but he must have dozed off because when the sun peeked through the venetian blinds, it was time to rise. He had been out a full six hours.

“G’mornin’,” Jennie said.

“You been up a while?” Ward asked.

“A little. Got a surprise for you after you’ve showered. Plus, breakfast will be waiting for you.”

Ward jumped in the shower, dressed, and then headed to the kitchen.

Jennie pressed something on her phone. “Listen to this.”

The hum of their white noise machine was unmistakable, and then came the six loud snorts, one right after the other, followed by a few muffled giggles and then one whispered word from Jennie, “Busted!”