Your Fault
“Good morning. This is Donna.”
“Donna, Chandler here. It’s your fault. Don’t try to talk your way out of it, but I can only conclude that it’s all your fault.”
“Chandler, have you flipped your lid?”
“There you go, trying to evade the point. It’ll still be your fault.”
“What are you talking about, Chandler?”
“As if you don’t know.”
Donna sighed into the phone. “I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about, but if you tell me, we’ll both have an even ground to stand on because we’ll both know what you’re talking about.”
“Do the words ‘coffee filters’ mean anything to you?”
“Uh, no. Nothing comes to mind,” Donna said.
“Unbelievable. You plant the seed in my wife’s head about doubling the number of coffee filters for each pot we make and you don’t remember a thing.”
“Hmm, well, Chandler, I seem to recall a conversation I had with her about three, maybe four years ago about coffee filters when you guys were still living here, but that…”
“So you admit it’s your fault?”
“What did I do wrong?”
“’Two filters are better’ ringing any bells?”
“Sure, that’s a true statement as far as coffee filters go.”
“Guilty as charged then. You are persona non gratis at this home for the foreseeable future.”
“Uh, Chandler, you’re in Connecticut and I’m in New Mexico. The likelihood of me being a guest is slim to none at this point.”
“Well, you had your chance.”
“Is your wife at home?” Donna asked. “Perhaps we need to talk again.”
“No no no no no. I’m not going to fall for that ruse. She is not home and you cannot poison her mind anymore. I thought I could trust you, Donna. I really did.”
“So, you’re still only using one filter I take it.”
“There really is no other way, but my wife insists on two and sometimes three filters.”
Silence.
“Haven’t had that first cup yet, Chandler?” Donna asked.
“Just percolating now. How could you tell?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Woman’s intuition, I guess.”
Filters need grounds. 😂🤣